Test Twelve: Control Freak Out

January 22, 2011 at 10:28 am Leave a comment

Well, with the usual disclaimers about accuracy of test and dangers of lying to yourself about yourself, I come away from this one relatively pleasantly surprised.

On a 43 item “true or false” test, with a bunch discarded because they were distractors, I came out with 6 out of 20, which points me in the bottom 15th percentile. How is this possible? Well, most of the questions were about whether you “let” other people choose restaurants/what to watch etc etc.
People who’d say I was controlling would instead be pointing at my frequently voiced exasperation with the Smugosphere and its sins.
Inevitably, Janda does not address the anxieties that might make more people than just the biologically “hard”wired (ahem, lousy metaphor) become control freaks. You know, the uncertainties and psychological assaults from consumer capitalism and all. And neither in this or the next essay (on anger) does he give even the mildest shout out to the wonderful Buddhist stuff on control, anger etc.

And there’s the classic ‘hole in my bucket’ problem, that the advice you need to take is probably the advice you CAN’T take…

“Talk openly with your partner and your friends. Invite them to share with you their feelings about your behavior. Expect them to be reluctant about being candid: your anger is intimidating. Understand that their criticisms will elicit an intense urge on your part to justify your actions. Be calm and patient, and listen to all they have to say.”


Entry filed under: self-knowledge. Tags: .

Test Eleven: “Ouch! Normative Male Alexithymia” Test Thirteen: Anger is an energy

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