Test Ten: Assertive Me, or “Not backward in coming forward”

January 19, 2011 at 7:06 am Leave a comment

The Assetiveness Scale is a 47item jobby, designed by Gay, Hollandsworth and Galassi. You answer on a five point scale from always to never to a host of questions about parental obligation, close friends to strangers in a queue. Bit of reverse scoring and…

I always knew I’d do “well” on this. As in, above the 85th percentile of folks. You’re dead a long time, and there’s a difference between being polite and being a doormat. And as Janda says

“Often these nonassertive people will rationalize their failure to object to he selfishness of othes by saying to themselves that it’s not worth the risk of creating ill will. What they do not understand, however, is that their failure to assert themselves is indeed creating ill will – in themselves…. [T]he non-assertive person will being to resent these demanding friends, and because this person finds it impossible to say what is on his or her mind,he or she will gradually withdraw from them, since it is the only available strategy for dealing with the smoldering resentment and hostility.”

Assertiveness is one of those irregular verbs, isn’t it? I am assertive, you are forceful, and those minorities are “pushy”. It’s one of the dog-whistles of anti-Semitism, for example, and can be used also against women. (Alongside “feisty”).

Of course, with these questions there’s always an element of “depends” – who the boss is, what the context is etc.

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Entry filed under: self-knowledge. Tags: .

Test Nine: Here comes Billy-No-Mates* Test Eleven: “Ouch! Normative Male Alexithymia”

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